A frustrated former big-city journalist now stuck working for an Albuquerque newspaper exploits a story about a man trapped in a cave to re-jump start his career, but the situation quickly escalates into an out-of-control circus.

Charles Tatum: Bad news sells best. Cause good news is no news.
Lorraine: I don't go to church. Kneeling bags my nylons.
[last lines]
Charles Tatum: How'd you like to make yourself a thousand dollars a day, Mr. Boot? I'm a thousand-dollar-a-day newspaperman. You can have me for nothing.
Charles Tatum: I've done a lot of lying in my time. I've lied to men who wear belts. I've lied to men who wear suspenders. But I'd never be so stupid as to lie to a man who wears both belt and suspenders.
Charles Tatum: It's a good story today. Tomorrow, they'll wrap a fish in it.
Herbie Cook: [Looking at the unstable cliff-dwelling] I don't like the looks of it, Chuck.
Charles Tatum: Neither do I, fan, but I like the odds.
Reporter: We're all in the same boat.
Charles Tatum: I'm in the boat. You're in the water. Now let's see how you can swim.
Lorraine: I met a lot of hard-boiled eggs in my life, but you - you're twenty minutes.
Charles Tatum: I can handle big news and little news. And if there's no news, I'll go out and bite a dog.
Charles Tatum: Mr. Boot, I was passing through Albuquerque; had breakfast here. I read your paper and thought you might be interested in my reaction.
Jacob Q. Boot: Indeed I am.
Charles Tatum: Well, to be honest, it made me throw up. I don't mean to tell you I was expecting the New York Times, but even for Albuquerque, this is pretty Albuquerque.
Jacob Q. Boot: Alright, here's your nickel back.
Charles Tatum: You know what's wrong with New Mexico, Mr. Wendel? Too much outdoors.
Charles Tatum: When they bleached your hair, they must have bleached your brain too.
Sheriff: You're that Tatum guy that was popping off over the phone last night!
Charles Tatum: I wasn't popping off, Sheriff; I was threatening. "Play along with me and you'll get re-elected. Don't, and I'll crucify you," that's what I said, remember?
Sheriff: I think I'll have my boys take you down to the county line and throw you out!
Charles Tatum: Throw out your campaign manager? You need plenty of help.
Sheriff: And maybe before I throw you out, I'll toss you into the 'Klink' for awhile!
Nagel: [on the telephone to Tatum] Come on Tatum! How much for the Minosa story? Exclusive!
Nagel: What! Don't you know there's a war on... somewhere?
Charles Tatum: I don't belong in your office. Not with that embroidered sign on the wall; it gets in my way.
Jacob Q. Boot: Then it does bother you a little.
Charles Tatum: Not enough to stop me. I'm on my way back to the top, and if it takes a deal with a crooked sheriff, that's alright with me! And if I have to fancy it up with an Indian curse and a broken hearted wife for Leo, then that's alright too!
Jacob Q. Boot: Do you drink a lot?
Charles Tatum: Not a lot - just frequently.
Charles Tatum: Where's my desk?
Jacob Q. Boot: The one by the door. You may be out of here by Saturday.
Charles Tatum: Sooner the better.
[first lines]
Charles Tatum: Hey. Pull up at the corner.
Vocalist: [singing] We're coming, we're coming Leo/Oh Leo don't despair/While you are in the cave-in hopin'/We are up above you gropin'/And we soon will make an openin' Leo./We're closer, we're closer Leo/And soon you'll breathe fresh air/While you are in the devil's prison/Keep the spark of life a fizzin'/We'll soon have you out of prison, Leo./Oh Leo, Leo, Leo, Leo.
Deputy Sheriff: Hey you! Sheriff wants to see you, down at the trading post. Don't waste any of his time 'cause he ain't staying around long. Maybe you ain't either.
Charles Tatum: You don't say?
Deputy Sheriff: You wanna know something? He don't like you.
Charles Tatum: And I was going to propose to him.
Herbie Cook: The old man sure looked bad. Did you see his face?
Charles Tatum: Yeah.
Herbie Cook: Like the faces of those folks you see outside a coal mine with maybe 84 men trapped inside.
Charles Tatum: One man's better than 84. Didn't they teach you that?
Herbie Cook: Teach me what?
Charles Tatum: Human interest. You pick up the paper, you read about 84 men or 284, or a million men, like in a Chinese famine. You read it, but it doesn't say with you. One man's different, you want to know all about him. That's human interest.
Charles Tatum: When the history of this sun-baked Siberia is written, these shameful words will live in infamy: No chopped chicken liver! No garlic pickles. No Lindys. No Madison Square Garden... no Yogi Berra! Whattya know about Yogi Berra, Miss Deverich?
Miss Deverich: I beg your pardon?
Charles Tatum: Yogi Berra!
Miss Deverich: Yogi? Why, it's a sort of religion, isn't it?
Charles Tatum: You bet it is! A belief in the New York Yankees!
Jacob Q. Boot: [after learning that Tatum was once fired from another newspaper for "starting something" with the publisher's wife] Now about that publisher's wife. I think you should know that Mrs. Boot is a grandmother three times. If you want to start something with her, she'd be very flattered.

Most popular quotes:

loving others quotes spike spiegel quotes torgue quotes angel wings quotes relationship phrases unlikely quotes firework sayings do you quotes drifted apart quotes autism mom quotes a scorned woman quotes dark poetry quotes pleasing others quote famous titanic quotes carter g woodson quotes detailed sexting examples quotes on poems mi vida quotes dirty pokemon memes bianca yes daddy quotes constance zimmer stuff quote on rest hippie peace quotes phillips brooks quotes soldier of god quotes reinventing the wheel quotes quotes about tutoring quotes on patterns positive outcome quotes rumi quotes about friendship living sober quotes superwoman quotes and sayings kentuckyfriedchicken james weldon johnson quotes civic duty quotes richard hammond funny take a breather quotes john wayne courage quote poster jack nicholson the joker quotes funny rain quotes and sayings happy birthday have a blessed day quotes on growing up too fast funny hood quotes and pictures i want it all quotes 4 wheeler quotes and sayings quotes about cheaters and liars fifth element ruby rhod quotes quotes about goodbyes to friends chosen family quotes tumblr drawings disney peter pan my prayers for you quotes fear of getting hurt quotes starting a new job quote that 70s show quotes red suicide survivor quotes wooden wall signs with quotes inspirational quotes for my brother quotations about money and happiness stinkmeaner quotes quotes about making an impact thank you for your hard work and dedication quotes fun in the sun quotes marilyn monroe facebook cover quotes two hearts beating as one quote dirty romantic quotes best pride and prejudice quotes playing hard to get quotes master p quotes quotes about good and bad